Two for the Price of One
by DarkAngelLillith
Summary: No one knew it, but Shepard was pregnant with Kaidan's baby when she died. Cerberus brought her back just as she was when she died.written for the kinkmeme
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Mass Effect.

**A/N:** This was made for the kinkmeme.

* * *

**Two for the Price of One**

_**Chapter 1:**_

Shepard lay on her bed, staring blankly at the stars past the window on the ceiling of her cabin. She felt like crying, but she wasn't that far gone yet. She hadn't known until now, but she was sure she wouldn't have been so surprised back then. Hell, she could probably cite when and how back then too. But then she got spaced and died without even knowing what she and Kaidan had created and lost.

The Commander of the Normandy ground her teeth to stop a sob from coming out of her mouth. She wasn't ready to lose control of her body. Not yet. Hell, she'd been dead for two years. This… thing… should not have happened at all. At least not until Wilson decided to follow the Illusive Man's orders literally and tried to revive her exactly as she was when she died. Cloned fetus to replace the one she'd been carrying when she got spaced included.

A fetus he didn't tell anyone else and implanted probably a few weeks before she woke up in that damned lab. Or perhaps she just got stuck with the disgruntled employee and her condition was Wilson's last _'fuck you'_ to Miranda. She vaguely wondered if he'd been found. Perhaps he tried to destroy any evidence of what he did to keep Cerberus from finding out. Playing 'I wonder if…' only irritated her. She couldn't change the past no matter how much she wished she could. Otherwise she wouldn't have missed two years of her life.

Maybe if she went down to the Crew deck and shot Miranda right in the middle of her perfect eyes she'd feel better. God knows she, Jacob and all of Cerberus deserved it even before they screwed her over. But then she'd lose the only woman who even had an idea of what had been done to her. Or at least most of what had been done to her. Shepard had learned enough of her forced XO to know she took the mission seriously and her state clearly compromised the success of it.

She placed a trembling hand on her abdomen. How was she supposed to tell Kaidan when she couldn't even believe it herself? When she hadn't even known back then… He'd probably blame it on some Cerberus plot to do something evil. Her face turned murderous. She'd like to see them try to fuck with her and her own. She didn't doubt her ability to search, find and destroy every single cell of the humanity first organization.

She frowned and several emotions clouded her thoughts. Too many for her to even give name to. There was happiness, anger, frustration and fear. She sighed and slowly climbed out of the bed. Usually being alone in her cabin helped to clear her mind, but not today. Today her thoughts drove her to the brink of tears and she wasn't ready to start bawling her eyes out like a simpering idiot.

She glanced in the mirror and quickly fixed her hair and makeup before leaving her cabin. She might be crumbling inside, but she refused to look the part. The morale of the crew depended on her keeping her wits.  
The ride was shorter than she would've liked, but when she stepped out of the elevator and strode towards the Main Battery no one even suspected there might be something wrong with their commander.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2:**_

She waited until the doors closed behind her to address the turian inside. He'd changed. Everyone changed and not always for the better. And though it had only been three weeks since she found him on Omega, she hoped the friendship they had two years back still remained. She needed a friend so badly right now.

He didn't even turn to face her. She'd known him long enough to know he didn't need to turn to know who she was.

"Shepard. Need me for something?"

"Have you got a minute?" she asked, hoping she didn't sound as desperate as she felt.

She saw him pause and she forced herself to remain still as he turned his head to look at her and then back at the console he'd been working on.

"Can it wait a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations."

There was something squeezing her heart. The air left her body, but she was unable to breathe. His words were the catalyst she'd been trying so hard to evade. She could literally feel the tight leash that held her emotions snap. Her eyes burned and her vision got cloudy.

"Shepard?" Garrus said, managing to look horrified at her, before stepping away from the console and towards her, "What's… Are you… What's wrong?"

"You want to know what's wrong?" She began walking past him and sitting on a nearby crate. She rubbed her eyes trying to stop crying, "I'm pregnant."

He blinked, hovering awkwardly in front of her, "You're what?"

"Pregnant," she said and had to stifle a giggle when the turian sat beside her. She blamed the shock for her giggling. Because, damn it, she didn't do giggling.

"How?"

She laughed through the last of her tears.

"Do I really have to tell you how babies are made?"

His mandibles flared and she could feel his gaze studying her closely, before he leaned back, arms crossed over his chest.

"I think I know the mechanics pretty well. I've had no complaints so far," he drawled, "I just didn't know you were involved with someone."

She giggled this time and it held a hint of desperation that made the turian stop to squeeze her shoulder in silent support. It made the turmoil inside her calm a little.

"I'm not," she replied thinking back on Horizon and how horrible that had gone, "I haven't been with anyone for two years. Cerberus… they…"

She choked and looked away unable to say what had been done. That she was carrying the exact same copy as the child she lost back on Alchera. That it was technically Kaidan's or as much as a clone can be. And she cursed the storm of emotions that coursed through her veins.

It was the growling that shook her and scattered her thoughts away and brought her back to the present. She turned her head to look at the cause of it and was surprised to find Garrus clenching and unclenching his fists with a murderous look on his face.

"Garrus?"

He stood and began pacing before turning his face at her.

"Say the word, Shepard, and I'll kill them for what they've done to you."

Perhaps it was only that peculiar tone of voice the turians had or the strength behind those words, but Shepard suddenly felt like it would be alright. She wasn't alone. Garrus had her back. Suddenly, everything came back into focus. Without thinking, she stood and took a taloned hand in hers and squeezed.

"Later. We've got the Collectors to stop and we're running out of time," she said, wondering how much time she had left until she would be unable to fight.

Garrus inhaled sharply, "You're not thinking of fighting like that? I don't know much about humans and their young, but I've heard you get even more fragile than what you usually are. Not that I think you are frail, but... Nevermind"

He looked away from her and stepped back, distancing the both of them. She looked at him amused at his embarrassment.

"If not me, then who? No one else seems to care that colonies are going missing."

She hoped the finality to her words made Garrus stay quiet. This time luck was with her, as the turian huffed and stood. She watched him literally stomp towards the console.

"Sometimes I hate how stubborn you can be," he said," But if I cannot stop you, then at least promise you'll take me with you."

She smiled, "I promise."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3:**_

Five minutes after Shepard left the battery, Garrus walked out to the crew quarters to sleep. The muffled voices coming from the darkened windows of the medical lab almost made him stop. His eyes roamed around the mess hall, but no one else seemed to hear what was happening. Garrus was glad humans had such dulled senses. He doubted Shepard would like the crew to know about her condition during a fight between between Miranda, Chakwas and Mordin.

The turian noticed Gardner giving him an odd look. He realized he'd been standing in the middle of the mess hall like an idiot. Garrus silently thanked the Spirits that turians couldn't blush like other races as he hurried towards his destination. Once settled, the turian used his visor to search the extranet. While using the Normandy's consoles would be more comfortable, Garrus didn't trust Cerberus.

Garrus' had no idea what a human pregnancy would entail. His limited knowledge came from the complaints of a C-Sec officer after his partner had become 'too pregnant' to work and a brief comment during his C-Sec training. In both instances, the female was pictured as weaker than usual and more dependent on her mate or family. He really couldn't picture Shepard as anything but strong. Still, Shepard had no family after Mindoir and no mate after Kaidan accused her of being a traitor. He could fill that role for her until she found someone better.

He frowned, concentrating on his search and trying to not dwell on the real reason why he wanted to be by her side. He hadn't been ready to admit his feelings back then. Two years later, he was still unable to face them either.

The extranet search had been incredibly helpful and Garrus had read everything with growing horror. He found enough information to answer all of his questions and be traumatized for the rest of his life. Human reproduction was very different to turian reproduction. Very, very different and much more messy.

Spirits help him! He doubted he could look at Shepard again without picturing one of the many disturbingly detailed pictures he found. Images aside, the information helped to explain some of the odd behavior Shepard had been displaying lately, like her sudden dislike of coffee and that one time he caught her sleeping on the Kodiak after Okeer's fiasco.

The turian shifted trying to get comfortable, but the cots had been designed for humans in mind and they were rather small for turians. He kept his mind blank and willed himself to sleep. Tomorrow would be another day and, if they were lucky, they'd finally reach Aeia to do some favor for Jacob.

He woke up to EDI's voice telling him they were two hours away from their destination. After making sure he was the only one in the men's bathroom, he cleaned up as fast as possible. Even while on the first Normandy, which was more alien friendly than this Normandy, Garrus never liked the idea of being naked around humans. He stepped out in time to watch Shepard step out of the elevator.

"Hey," he called out to her and his mandibles flared out as he smiled when she paused to wait for him.

"Good morning, Garrus," she said as they began to make their way to the kitchen for breakfast, "Ready for the mission?"

"I'm always ready for you, Commander," he replied, not noticing as several crew members seemed to choke on their meals.

He did notice when Shepard laughed and gave him '_The Look'_. He didn't know what it meant, but she never did it to him before she… before Omega. He did know she always gave it to him when he said something that didn't quite translated as he intended. Damned humans, their double meanings and their dirty minds.

"I meant for the missions," he tried to amend and was rewarded with even more laughing. He growled in embarrassment, grabbed his tray of food from Gardner's hands and waited for Shepard.

"Good morning, Commander. I made your favorite and even managed to get my hands on some coffee imported straight from Earth. Think of it as thanks for getting the supplies."

Garrus watched with a frown as Shepard seemed to pale at the sight of her tray. He took a step forward, but the glare she sent to him stopped him in his tracks. He watched as she took a deep breath that only seemed to make her worse.

"Excuse me," she forced out before turning and walking away at a fast pace.

Worried, the turian left his food on the table and hurried after her. Her scent led him to the women's bathroom where he could hear her retching. Garrus could hear her cursing and say something about how she liked coffee and how life wasn't fair. He hesitated, wondering if he should stay or if he should leave her to compose herself. The sight of Kelly making her way out of the crew quarters and towards the bathroom made him reach a decision.

"Yeoman Chambers, a word please," he said, getting her attention and striding past her to make her follow.

"How can I help?" she chirped and Garrus wondered how she could sound so… so… bubbly?

"Yes, well, Shepard needs to finish some reports and hasn't eaten yet. Could you get her tray to her cabin? She can eat and do her reports. That way she won't leave to Aeia on an empty stomach."

The woman grinned, "Sure. Was that all?"

He nodded and watched her grab the tray and enter the elevator before going back to stare at the door of the bathroom. There were no more sounds coming from the bathroom and he wondered if he should peek inside to make sure she was fine. With his luck, some other crewmate would find him and think he had some kind of human fetish.

Annoyed, he knocked on the door and called out, "Shepard. I sent your breakfast to your cabin."

"Thanks. Just go get ready while I finish with this," came the muffled response out of the bathroom.

There was a second of hesitation before he turned back to eat his breakfast. He didn't want to leave her, but he knew she would be angry if he didn't obey her. And he knew better than to have an angry Shepard after him. It still didn't stop him from making a brief detour to her cabin after Kelly came down, hack the lock and dispose of the coffee before Shepard came out of the bathroom.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4:**_

Jacob's mission had been rather boring and disturbing at the same time in Garrus' opinion. Looking at the blank, almost child-like faces and smelling the fear and confusion that surrounded the women's camp only managed to make him angrier. Garrus hadn't missed the way Shepard's hand went to her stomach or the way her eyes seemed to lose all emotion when one of the women gave her a datapad. In it was all the evidence that showed the nightmare they'd gone through had been planned by those that were meant to keep them safe.

Maybe it had been his time as Archangel or his time taking down geth, but shooting down LOKI mechs seemed like a waste of time. There was only one moment during the mission that he felt was worth the amount of thermal clips used. He'd been so absorbed in sniping down the humans; he didn't notice Shepard getting too close to the thrice damned YIMIR mech until she was swearing up a storm on his ear piece. He'd left cover without thinking and rushed to her side; leaving Jacob alone with the remaining guards.

"Shit, did I tell you to move, Garrus?" Shepard asked as soon as he got to her side.

"Just lending you a hand, commander," he replied while overloading the mech.

Once the thing was down he chanced a look at her. She'd been clutching her arm and the smell of blood… _her_ blood made him feel lower than a barefaced turian. He'd vowed to protect her and there she was bleeding. He failed her, just like he failed his team. He swallowed hard, using his omni-tool to apply medigel on the wound.

"Should've saved it for when we really need it," she told him giving him _The Look_ again before changing clips.

He ignored her and busied with changing weapons. It was no secret that he preferred sniping, but after this, he needed to keep a closer watch on Shepard and he couldn't do that through a scope. And then they were facing down Jacob's father.

Garrus glanced at Shepard, wondering what she would do. The anger simmering in her eyes was a welcomed sight. Before, she would've controlled her emotions and done what's supposed to be right. Now, that anger had a chance of being unleashed and Garrus was hoping it would.

He failed to save Omega, but the part of him that cried for justice, the Archangel side he thought dead along with his team, suddenly came back to life. He couldn't hunt down Cerberus for Shepard, but he could take down that sick fuck and put a bullet on his head for what he'd done. And another one right on his arm in exchange for the one his mech gave Shepard. For endangering her life and that of her baby. And he didn't care if Jacob liked it or not.

In the end, giving him a perfectly good gun to kill himself had been a waste of a good gun. The man deserved to be ripped apart… starting with his penis. The only thing that showed his anger was the way his mandibles seemed to be glued to his face.

The ride back had been uneventful. Jacob wasn't talking, but then again, Garrus never claimed to be his friend. He hardly could stand the man for reasons that he'd never admit out loud, but had everything to do with the way he looked at Shepard.

The woman in question was busy fiddling with her injury. The medigel had done wonders, but she would be seeing Chakwas anyway and he knew how much she hated seeing the doctor even when she really needed it. Remembering the fight he overheard, he would hate to be on her shoes when the doctor learned of her injury.

He did notice how tired she looked and, as silently as he could, he moved closer to her. Jacob didn't glance at them, busy staring a whole at the floor of the Kodiak. Shepard turned her head in what he'd come to see as a questioning manner.

He didn't speak because he couldn't… not without stammering and making a fool out of himself. Instead, he tried to keep from trembling as he moved her closer to him, tucking her head on his shoulder. His heart pounding when she offered no resistance.

He told the voice in his head, the one that sounded just like his father, to shut up when it reminded him that good turians didn't do things like this with their commanding officers. He knew he'd fallen hard from the ideal of a good turian the moment he smelled Kaidan on her and he'd wanted to rip the man's throat apart for daring to touch her. He just had a hard time accepting it.

"Garrus," she began but was quickly interrupted.

"Just rest, Shepard. You look like you need it."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5:**_

Shepard entered the elevator and forced back the urge to scream. She wanted to kill someone. Actually, she wanted to kill two specific some ones: Miranda and Kelly. The first one for having dared to tell the crew about her pregnancy without her permission and the second one for even suggesting that she take some days under therapy. Because it wasn't right to want to keep the baby as a memory of her past life and, at the same time, be willing to endanger it for the sake of the entire galaxy. She didn't want to worry her crew when she was still able to pull her weight around and she'd rather be spaced again than trust her mental well-being to a Cerberus believer, even if she needed it. No matter how cheerful and species 'friendly'.

At least Miranda had a good excuse. Her antics that morning had not gone unnoticed and several men had asked Miranda if she was alright. Perhaps her XO had done what was right, but she really could do without the looks she was now receiving.

Or maybe it was the lecture that Chakwas had launched in after knowing she'd been shot. It had been superficial and on her arm. The only reason she even went to see the doctor was because it was mandatory to see her after every mission. Otherwise, she would've gone to her cabin, taken a long shower to take the grime and sweat off, ordered someone to bring her some of that asari stew Gardner made and slept until the next day.

It wasn't that she didn't care about her baby, but the medigel Garrus used had closed the wound and the bleeding had been minimal. If she thought there was something wrong, she wouldn't think twice about seeing the doctor.

She rubbed her lower belly absentmindedly and wondered if she could convince Gardner to make that stew tomorrow too. Shepard had never been a fan of asari foods, but that stew tasted incredible.

She got out of the elevator and entered her cabin. The fish swam lazily and she noticed with dismay that a few of them were floating instead of swimming. Did she forget to feed them again? And what kind of mother would she be when she kept forgetting to feed her fish? At least her hamster was healthy and happy. That had to give her some points in the motherly side.

She smiled, amused, as she watched the little rodent playing on his cage. Anything to forget the look of fear in the women's eyes whenever they caught sight of Jacob. Anything to forget the feeling of her skin crawling as she thought of herself strapped, unconscious on a table with Wilson and other faceless men touching her. Violating her, like Jacob's father and the other officers had done to the women. Because, really, if she'd been nothing but meat and tubes, who knew what they'd done to her?

Fighting to keep her stomach down, Shepard stripped and was amazed for a moment that, while she could see the bump on her lower belly, the others seemed unaware of it. She glanced at her breasts wondering why her chest plate had seemed so uncomfortable. Where they getting bigger? Well, her nipples seemed a little bit darker, but that was it. Putting on a robe, she padded to her bathroom, stopping only to address the AI on her cabin.

"EDI, tell Garrus I need him to bring me some food up to my cabin," she began, an idea forming itself in her mind, "You know what, scratch that order. Tell him to bring dinner for the both of us. Tell him I want some of that asari stew. That way we won't eat alone."

"Of course, Shepard. Anything else?"

"I'll be taking a shower. So he can let himself in if I haven't finished. And that'll be all," she finished, feeling oddly giddy at the thought of having dinner with Garrus.

"Logging you out Shepard," the AI dutifully intoned as Shepard finally entered the bathroom.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6:**_

The first thing Shepard noticed as she came out of the bathroom was the smell of food. The second thing was that Garrus was just settling the tray with their food down on the coffee table in front of her couch. The third thing she noticed was that Garrus was out of armor. The strange feeling in the pit of her stomach that came after she realized it was blamed on the pregnancy. The returning giddiness was blamed on fact that he brought food.

"Shepard. EDI said you wanted to eat with me," he said with a hint of something in his voice that had Shepard wondering if she was missing something, but dismissed it. He'd tell her if something was bothering him, right?

"Had to find an excuse to get you away from calibrations. You've spent more time with that console than with anyone else. I think I might be jealous," she replied with a teasing smile as she took a seat and took her plate, unaware of the searching look the turian sent her way.

"No need to be jealous, Shepard," Garrus said before taking a bite of Gardner's latest attempts at cooking dextro-amino foods. It was barely passable as food, but the old man was getting better, "I'll always be here if you need me."

"I'm not really jealous," she continued speaking in between bites, "I just don't understand why you spend so much time on that. We tested your upgrades and everything worked fine. Hell, you managed to get more power to it without compromising any other systems. I don't think there's much more you can do."

There was silence for a brief moment. The turian wondered if it would be wise to tell her he _needed_ to calibrate those weapons daily. He needed to make sure the Normandy could defend itself in case something happened. In case they were attacked, like two years ago. He couldn't lose her again. He couldn't...

"I need to calibrate manually in order to get the best results. We need all the firepower we can get to destroy the Collectors, if we are still going after them," was his reply and though not an actual lie it was not the whole truth and Garrus was turian enough to hope she didn't notice the omission.

"Why wouldn't we?" she asked and took a bite, chewing slowly as she waited for him to respond.

Garrus blinked, and his mandibles flared in surprise, "You were shot, Shepard. It's not safe."

She shrugged, "I'm tougher than I look, Garrus and there's still enough time to kick Collector ass before I need to stop fighting."

Garrus stared at his half-eaten plate, "You're a stubborn woman, Shepard."

She shrugged and gave him a wide smile, "What can I say? It's a gift!"

"I wouldn't call it that, Commander."


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7:**_

Shepard insisted they continued sharing meals in her cabin. The turian accepted her invitation only because he could see the benefits of such proposal. She had a private bathroom she could run to in case of nausea, which waned after a few days but never quite left. She could escape the growing concerned looks of the crew and their well-meant but unwanted advice. She could talk to him without the fear of being overheard, AI notwithstanding. And he could satisfy his need to see that she was alive, healthy and happy. Garrus could endure any odd rumors and gossip as long as he knew she was fine. He only had to keep reminding himself that, while he was acting like her mate, he wasn't.

One of the things the SR-1 crew learned rather quickly was that Shepard didn't do well with coddling. Chakwas, due to her job, seemed to have grown immune to her temper. The doctors' growing lectures and restrictions were met with stoic silence. Joker, though he cared, wasn't affectionate to anyone save the Normandy. Two years ago, Tali had been able to calm her down, but the quarian had joined them recently and didn't seem to know how to act around Shepard after she learned of her pregnancy. Garrus, who'd seen more of that temper aimed at their enemies, was content with just suggesting what he thought she should do and letting her do as she wished. And while he didn't really put much stock on his ancestors; he began to pray to the spirits that his body never wavered and for his aim to remain true. After all, Shepard was more likely to ignore his suggestions than follow them. She had taken on a geth Colossus by herself and nearly made him the first turian to die of a heart attack.

Unfortunately, the Normandy crew didn't know how much she actually hated being coddled. It seemed like despite all of Miranda's research she still missed that little fact. They kept giving her concerned looks, which Shepard did her best to ignore. Their advice she took with a tight smile and polite thanks. Kelly's psycho babble was dutifully ignored with a roll of her eyes. She was always composed and polite to everyone, despite her constant backaches and increasing headaches. Only her team knew she was pissed as hell and was taking it out on their enemies. Space would become less populated by the time her pregnancy was over if the crew didn't stop soon.

Even Jack had been shocked into silence after Shepard sent a merc down a window. The biotic seemed to have forgotten the satisfied smile Shepard wore after bombing the hell out of Pragia. Garrus was only thankful that she hadn't killed the salarian workers. He wondered if it was bad to hope for her temper to show if her ever found Sidonis…

"So, what do you think of Thane?" her voice took him away from his thoughts.

"I haven't had the pleasure of talking to him," Garrus replied, his talons making its way into her hair as she leaned on him.

The turian tried not think about the way the drell looked at Shepard. His daily trips to her cabin caused some interesting rumors to begin circling around the Normandy. Most of them were about them being lovers, but some were about how the baby was some sort of mutant hybrid. He was still embarrassed by their existence, but now he hoped that they kept the drell away. After all, they _did_ manage to scare Jacob away.

"He's nice… for an assassin," she continued, wincing when Garrus's hand accidentally caught on her hair.

The turian was quick to apologize, but Shepard ignored him. She took his hand away from her hair and continued talking, "Kelly likes him."

"Of course she does. He moves and has a pulse. That's all she needs to know to like him."

"You're just jealous that she wants to hug Thane now," she said smiling, eyes closing as her body demanded more rest.

He inhaled deeply, taking in her changing scent. Only now did he notice she'd placed his hand on her stomach and he'd been drawing circles on it while they talked. If she noticed, she didn't show it, but it made his heart beat faster. He was hit with the sudden urge to mark her. To show the world that she was his and no one else's.

The possessive wave left him as panic came forth. He would've run, but Shepard was asleep. After recruiting the drell and the asari, she deserved to rest. They still had to check on Miranda's sister and talk to Liara before leaving Ilium.

"I'll only be jealous if it's you doing the hugging, Shepard," he whispered to her before slowly disengaging from her.

He should leave, do some calibrations to clear his mind and suggest they stop having dinner together. He should really do that, but he knew he won't. Instead, he picked her up carefully and carried her over to her bed. Before he left, he allowed his forehead to touch hers briefly. He shouldn't have done that, but she was asleep and surely did not know what that meant. He could… pretend… if only for a while… before leaving her cabin.

He didn't sleep, instead he used his time calibrating, stopping only to check his messages. His mandibles quivered in anticipation as he read them. Finally! He found the trail he was looking for. He had a lead. Soon, he would have his revenge.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8:**_

The tables were turned. Once, it had been her waiting for news about him. Now it was him waiting and he wondered how she kept from going insane. Maybe it helped that she didn't love him like he loved her. The thought hurt him and he briefly wondered if admitting what he felt, even if only to himself, had been the right thing to do. Then, he would remember that he wasn't exactly thinking rationally when he finally allowed himself to give a word to what he felt for her. A word he'd been running from for two years.

Thinking of the reason he was waiting for news of Shepard made him growl. Kelly, who insisted on staying nearby, sent him a wary look before slowly moving away from him. His predatory eyes noticed the movement despite her efforts. But Kelly wasn't his target and he was sure Shepard would be angry with him if he went down to the starboard deck and had a few choice words with Samara using his weapons for emphasis. So far he'd managed to stay on Shepard's good side and he rather liked it. At least it was that thought that kept him sitting down instead of rushing to get the Justicar and show her why he was the top hand to hand specialist on most turian ships.

Part of him was angry with Shepard too. He understood her need to go after the Collectors. No one else believed them or offered to help claiming they were a myth or, at the most, that it was just 'human problem'. They were blind to the reality that no one in the universe was safe. Especially, with the Collectors being servants of the Reapers. Who would want to bring a child to the world when the entire universe was on a countdown quickly reaching zero? No one. Garrus understood that. He was ready to follow her every order for the greater good.

What he couldn't understand was why she would do this… Why had she walked unarmed and unarmored through the streets of Omega while leaving them behind to trail after her? Too far away to reach her if anything happened. Why had she helped Samara? Why risk her mind… her life and that of her child for someone she barely knew? His rage at her always dissipated when he remembered her falling unconscious after Morinth was killed.

There'd been no warning. She just collapsed and Garrus caught her in his arms. He couldn't run with her in his arms, but he'd been close to it on his way back to the Normandy. On his way he noticed many things. Her smell. How small she really was compared to him. How weightless without all the armor. And how still she was. Almost like she was… dead... And it was in that moment, when his panic rose. Her death had already broken him. Going through it again, with how much he'd grown to love her, would finally destroy him.

By the Spirits, he loved her! He loved a human and he was losing her again.

"Still waiting. Good," Mordin's voice brought him back to the present.

The salarian was looking at him oddly and he noticed he'd been growling all along. A glance showed him that the Yeoman was still there with him. The woman was pale and staring at him wide eyed. Her expression changed as soon as he stopped. There was a flash of something on her face, too fast for him to read and he was damned good at reading human expressions compared to other turians. She excused herself and left with a light bounce on her step that made the Garrus wonder what just happened.

"How's Shepard?" he finally asked the salarian.

"Awake. Asked for you. Commander suffered broken meld with asari. Strained her human brain. Mild to severe damage expected in normal humans. Shepard modified by Cerberus. Not normal. No damage expected. Fetus. Distressed on arrival. Slightly alarming. Currently continuing developmental stages at normal rate. No damage expected."

The anger left him as Mordin continued talking. The salarian deeply engrossed in the more technical explanation of what happened to Shepard and what he and Chakwas did to help her. Garrus didn't care. She was alive! He had not lost her!

Without thinking, he stood and rushed to see her; ignoring the knowing look from the salarian and the odd looks from the crew. What he encountered made him stop in his tracks.

"These are the legs and the arms. This is the head. You can see the eyes," Chakwas was highlighting parts of a holographic display to Shepard.

"It looks like everything's in order. Maybe the next time we can get a better view to see if it's a girl or a boy."

Garrus wondered if he should leave and come back later, but Mordin had said she asked for him. The turian hesitated. Shepard turned her head to the door. He knew she saw him when she smiled and waved him over.

"Garrus? What are you doing standing there? Watch this!"

Her smile was different, softer, and Chakwas seemed to be amused by it. The turian let out a resigned sighed and stepped forward. Better to get this over with.

What followed was… strange…

Apparently, what they've been watching had been a human baby. Only, it looked nothing like a human. Chakwas assured him it would look human when it was born. So much different than turians and half the known species. Why couldn't they hatch eggs? It was… less messy than the images that suddenly came to his mind. He didn't tell them that. Instead, he just watched the holographic display with morbid curiosity.

"Oh God, Garrus, I'm pregnant!" was the first thing that came out of her mouth after Chakwas left them alone to eat something.

"Either that or the entire medical staff is playing a horrible prank on you, Shepard."

Shepard didn't say a word. Instead, she grabbed his hand with enough strength to make him notice something was wrong with her. She was pale and her eyes were wide, reminding him of Kelly's reaction to his growling. Was she still suffering from Morinth's attack? Didn't Mordin say something about brain damage? Or was she actually - dare he even think it - afraid?

"Having second thoughts, Shepard?" he asked her and was relieved when she gave him a disbelieving look in return, though she was still too pale for his liking.

"Keep saying that and I'll be forced to hurt you."

"Then what's wrong?"

She sighed and looked away, though he could feel her squeezing his hand and he squeezed it back in silent support.

"I… I think it's time I told Kaidan."


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9:**_

Shepard's first thought had been to send a message to Kaidan and get it over with. She cried while writing. For what had been and what could've been. For the love she had and the knowledge that her love had, not disappeared, but waned. When before she'd been blind to many things, now she was able to see things she ignored back then.

Kaidan was a good soldier, a good man and a great lover, but he wasn't that good with relationships. Or he hadn't been back then. The past had marked him, made him scared of his powers, afraid of losing control and terrified of forming emotional attachments. Their military careers hadn't helped. They just served to make him insecure of his standing and his worth. He never told her and she hadn't seen it back then, but now it was painfully obvious he never quite believed she'd been impartial with him. And how could he, when the ghost of Ashley would forever haunt them?

She got halfway through her message before deleting it. The least thing she could do was talk to him face to face. Otherwise she'd be no better than him… plus she'd never taken the easy route with anything. Why would she start now?

The message sent had been short. Just a brief note saying she had something important to tell him and to meet her at the Citadel and the time she expected to be there. She tried to think of a good place to meet with him. One without any memories attached to them. It wasn't that hard though, given that she'd been restricted to the Zakera Wards for the time being.

The emotional roller coaster of writing to Kaidan and the thought of their meeting only managed to make her sick. She had a headache and her stomach felt queasy. According to the time, it was long past dinner time. She was surprised that Garrus hadn't come. He'd never missed one of their dinners together. He was, in fact, the only one that dared to pry her off her work and force her to eat in the rare times she indulged her inner workaholic.

And while Shepard found it strange, she didn't worry about. The turian was probably busy working on those calibrations of his. Instead, she messaged Garrus to remind him and settled to wait on her couch. She closed her eyes, confident that her friend would wake her when he arrived. But when she opened her eyes, there was a tray with cold food and a note from Kelly saying she brought her tray up, but decided against waking her. Shepard felt a shiver run down her spine and decided to have a talk with Garrus as soon as she could.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10:**_

Garrus tried to do some calibrations, but his mind kept straying. He'd been so stupid. He knew... He _knew_ she wasn't his. He'd known Shepard only viewed him as a friend. He _knew_ that was all he could ever be with her. He thought he'd come to grips with it. Now, the knowledge that she was going back to Kaidan made him want to kill the man. Or, at least, challenge him for what was his.

Because Shepard was his. Kaidan left her. Called her a traitor. Turned his back on, not only the woman, but everything the old Normandy had fought for. _He_ was the one protecting her and taking care of her. _He_ was the one willing to fight by her side with his last breath. But… Kaidan was human, like Shepard. Kaidan could give her things he would never be able to. Could give her child so many things he couldn't.

Even if Shepard grew to consider him as a potential mate, he was nothing but a washed out turian. He failed at C-Sec. He failed his father. He failed at becoming a Spectre. He failed the memory of Shepard. He failed on Omega. He failed his team. Why wouldn't he fail at being a mate and father too? Not like he ever had the opportunity, but with his track record perhaps it was better that he never had a chance in the first place. That didn't stop him from feeling hollow inside.

He left the main battery before he could do any lasting damage to the console. His mind and heart in too much turmoil to notice he forgot to have dinner. He didn't speak with anyone, though one look at him had everyone scrambling out of the way. He needed to clear his mind and a little target practice always made him feel good, but he never had the chance to so do.

Just as Garrus was about to begin, his omni-tool announced he had a message from one of his contacts. He spoke to Shepard a little about Sidonis, but not how close he was to finding the barefaced bastard. Now, staring at the message was his answer. His contact told him about a man named Fade on the Citadel. He was so close he could feel his trigger finger itching and the clamor of his teammates for vengeance.

There was another message. This one coming from the Normandy. Shepard. He had forgotten about dinner! He left her waiting for him. What kind of mate was he? No… not mate… friend… What kind of friend was he?

Frustration. Anger. Disillusion. Survivor's Guilt. Shame. Heartbreak. It was too much for him. With a snarl, he threw the weapon down unaware of Jacob's unmanly yelp of surprise. The human watched warily as the turian stalked his way back to the main battery. The turian had enough mind to stop and tell Gardner to send Shepard some food first.

"Did you see that, EDI?" the man asked as he checked the weapon over for damages.

"Affirmative, Agent Taylor. May I suggest Yeoman Chambers head down to the main battery and have a talk with Agent Vakarian. She has quite an extensive knowledge in the psychological field," the AI intoned.

Jacob snorted, remembering the appreciative stares Chambers kept sending the turian the last time he was down on the mess hall.

"I think it would be better if Shepard talked to him."

"Very well. Shepard will be informed. Logging you out, Agent Taylor."


	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter 11:**_

The ride to the Citadel was long and awkward. After that one time where Garrus forgot their dinner, the turian had grown cold. Distant. Shepard blamed it on Sidonis. Garrus finally had a lead on the man that betrayed him. Shepard knew Garrus wanted revenge, though she didn't like the new attitude the turian was sporting.

Garrus coldness made her realize how much she'd come to rely on him. How much she needed his presence. He was her rock and with him turning into some sort of avenging demon, she felt lost. It made Shepard angry. The fact that the crew was beginning to notice her pregnancy and decided it was time to treat her like an invalid only made her fuse shorter. Wondering about Kaidan's reaction did not help in the least. By the time they reached the Citadel, the Normandy crew breathed a sigh of relief when Shepard walked out with Garrus and Jack.

Killing Sidonis had been easy. Shepard felt it anticlimactic after all the trouble Harkin put them through. She smiled viciously as she remembered how Garrus shot him, making the asari waitress shift uneasily.

"Shepard? Am I late?" Kaidan said as he approached her table and took a seat.

"No. I finished what I needed to do early," she said, feeling queasy and wishing Garrus had stayed with her instead of heading out to buy more supplies.

"So…"

"Have you tried the stew?" she asked, knowing she was stalling but not finding the words to begin, "It's great."

Kaidan gave her a long searching look, "I thought you didn't like asari food, Shepard."

"I don't. I just can't stop craving it at the moment," she said and took a deep breath, "Mordin says it'll go away after the birth."

Kaidan made this strangling, choking noise and the asari waitress hurried to get him a glass of water. Shepard would've laughed if she hadn't been busy trying to keep her food down and her hands from trembling.

"Birth?" was all he said after a few minutes of silence, "You're pregnant?"

"I…," she began and stopped. Her eyes turned sideways, to watch the people walking past the small restaurant. She stopped, eyes widening and heart pounding. Garrus was waiting for her outside. She wasn't alone on this. She looked back at Kaidan, who was just staring at her as if she'd suddenly grown two heads and sighed. She could've been more tactful.

"Let me start over, Kaidan. I don't think you really understand what happened to me. Two years ago I died…"

And that was the start of one of the worst conversations she'd had in all of her life. She told him everything she knew about the Lazarus Project and what Wilson had done to her. She went to great pains to make it very clear she wasn't a clone or some kind of robot. And then she had to watch as he cried for a child neither of them had known about.

Cerberus' interests in her pregnancy were questioned and argued until the asari waitress came to inform them that they either keep it quiet or leave. Shepard knew how dangerous Cerberus was. She had Jack as living proof of the horrible things they'd done to children. She also knew how valuable her child could be to them. She didn't need him to tell her that. Just like he didn't need to tell her they couldn't be trusted.

The conversation continued to spiral down when he realized she'd been fighting the Collectors in her state and didn't plan to stop until they were all killed. The argument continued in hushed, almost hissing, voices. It ended with Kaidan pleading her to join the Alliance and give their relationship another chance.

If they'd had this conversation before Horizon, Shepard was sure she would've done it. She would've given the Alliance the chance to target the right enemy and given their relationship another go. Now, when she looked at Kaidan she wasn't looking at the man she loved, but at a good friend. It hurt, but not as much as it had at first. And, given the hope she could see in his eyes, she prayed he could move on too after this. She didn't want to be with him out of duty and she told him so, but he was always welcomed in the life of their child.

Kaidan seemed disappointed, but not surprised, when she rejected him.

"I shouldn't have let you go after Joker alone," he said and took her hand in his, "Maybe I should've gone with you on Horizon."

Shepard took her hand back, "But you didn't."

"I know," he said softly and then sighed heavily, "If it's mine, I'll be a part of his or her life. I just… I don't trust Cerberus."

She couldn't fault him for being suspicious. After all, it was Cerberus behind it all and it had been two years since they were last together. Truth be told, she'd thought about it sometimes. She thought of the Illusive Man using her to carry his child. After bombing Pragia, she entertained the thought that the baby was not an 'incident' at all, but a deliberate experiment. Kaidan was a biotic and, while she wasn't, she had the potential to be. She had nightmares were the baby wasn't Kaidan's, but Wilson's last idea of a joke.

"Take care, Shepard. And don't trust Cerberus."

"I don't, Kaidan."

Watching him walk away made her feel better. It went much better than she expected, given their meeting on Horizon. But while she felt the worry of days ebbing away, her food had remained almost untouched and she was feeling a little lightheaded. The asari waitress looked a little concerned, but Shepard waved it away and paid for their meal.

She stood and walked slowly out of the restaurant. She wanted to reach Garrus and get the hell away. Shepard saw him flare his mandibles at her and she smiled in returned.

"So, when do we tell Miranda she's out of a job?" he asked her as soon as she got near him. She noticed he looked tense and wondered what was wrong, but decided he would tell her eventually.

"Planning to usurp her throne, Garrus?" she asked him, unaware that she slipped her arm around his as they began walking side by side.

"Me? No. But I don't think Alenko's going to be happy following the Cerberus princess."

Shepard almost paused, but caught herself on time. She took a long look at Garrus. She noticed the faint quiver of his mandibles and the way he kept his eyes straight. Was he… Did she want him to be?

There was a rush of something that Shepard was afraid to name. It was too soon for her to start giving it a name. Besides, she'd never looked at aliens before. She really needed to sit down and think, but first…

"Garrus, Kaidan's not going to join us."

He stopped and she would've stumbled against him if he hadn't caught her on time. Shepard could feel his hands on her shoulders and her breath caught when she looked up into his blue eyes. There was something there that both scared and amazed her. Garrus made a rumbling sound that she'd never heard before as he slowly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

They stared at each other without speaking. Shepard, too overwhelmed with these strange new feelings. Garrus, lost on the relief that he was not going to lose her. The sound of two people arguing nearby brought them back to the present. He flared his mandibles and she smiled, before starting to walk again.

"I took the liberty of buying something extra in our supplies, Shepard."

"Really? What did you buy?" she asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

"Chocolate. The turian that worked there said it was some sort of Earth delicacy. Seems like human females like it a lot, by what he told me," he said, looking away from her in what she was slowly associating as shyness.

Shepard could feel her mouth watering. Real chocolate was really hard to come by outside of Earth and she was sure more than two years had passed since she had some.

"Thanks, Garrus."

"Anything for you, Shepard," he replied and this time Shepard heard the emotion behind his words. She wasn't ready to face it yet.

"Hey, I was thinking of checking out the shotguns at Rodam's."

"Do I need to remind you what happened the last time you tried to use a shotgun, Shepard?" he said, though he changed directions towards the store.

"Not for me," she said and Garrus was surprised to see the same softness he'd seen when she'd been speaking to Chakwas, "They're for Grunt and Jack."

"Adopting them, Shepard?" he said and watched as her face colored slightly.

Garrus had the suspicion that the strange softness in her features was - if he'd read about human mothers correctly - her 'motherly face' and he had to laugh at that. Only Shepard would become 'motherly' towards the most unpredictable members of the crew. And only Shepard would think a shotgun made a proper gift. By the Spirits, their kid will be shooting before he even learned how to become a respectable citizen… Damn… Her kid not theirs…

She laughed, "Adopt them? They're practically ours! And here I thought everyone could see the family resemblance. She's got my nose and Grunt's got your eyes."

She didn't notice the hurt look he threw at her.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12:**_

She was staring, yet again, at the distant stars through the window on her ceiling. The day wasn't over yet, but she needed to clear her mind. Her life had spiraled out of control and she needed to find the brakes before she hurt someone. She could feel her heart constricting at the thought that maybe she was too late and already someone was hurt. She took a deep breath and cursed loudly, thankful that there was no one else with her to see her like this except EDI, but she was not going to be picky.

She needed to place some distance between Garrus and herself. She knew he was important to her but, how important was he? She had no idea. He was one of her closest friends, but so were Tali, Chakwas and Joker. She trusted him with her life, but she did the same with most of her ground team. True, she teased him; but she did the same with Joker and Tali.

Ever since she found him on Omega she'd been calling him by his first name. She hadn't done that before with anyone. Tali and Wrex being exceptions only because quarian last names were the names of their ships and the krogan had never given her his last name. Then again, she still called the krogan Wrex after learning his clan name on Tuchanka.

She didn't feel particularly bad about it. None of them felt the need to call her by her first name either. Kaidan had done it once and she'd quickly reminded him of the regulations. She tried to imagine Garrus calling her by her first name and couldn't see it happening. Would she even care if he did?

She tried to imagine having a relationship with him. It wasn't as hard as she thought. The turian was already closer to her than anybody else. Her family had been closer, but they were all dead. Garrus knew when he needed to take care of her and when he needed to step back and let her use a missile launcher against a Colossus. He teased her, advised her, and even went against her if he thought she was placing herself under unnecessary risk. And the look he gave her... Her heartbeat doubled every time she thought of it. She'd never been attracted to aliens before, but Garrus was different. He'd always been different, she just began noticing now.

Maybe it was all Cerberus' fault, since Thane didn't look so bad and Wrex was beautiful in a 'wow look at those muscles' way. She stopped her train of thought right there before she went through the other known races. She'd have to shoot herself in the head if she even thought of volus in that way. God, she was going to have nightmares now.

At least she knew there was something funny with her. She really, really wanted to blame Cerberus for it. She found it ironic that a humanity first organization brought her back to life as a raging xenophile. Unfortunately, she was almost a hundred percent sure the fault lay in her pregnancy. Hormones were a bitch, though at least she wasn't crying or puking anymore. One had to see the positive side too. And she still found Jacob's abs sexy, even if she didn't trust him. Plus she _had_ ogled Kaidan's ass when he walked away, though she'll never tell anyone she had.

Shepard had done her best to not think of her pregnancy. And she'd been doing a great job of it, until Chakwas' check up. Every damned time she tried to picture how it would look, she didn't see herself or Kaidan. Instead, she ended seeing Wilson or Miranda. Once, she imagined it looking like the Illusive Man. There were days that it was hard to remember why she kept it. And then there were the days that all she could think of was that her relationship with Kaidan hadn't been in vain. That she was alive and maybe _that_ wasn't so bad. Because she hadn't lost everything. She still had something, someone, worth fighting the Reapers for.

Kaidan's proposal was just another thing to think about. They had loved each other, or at least they had believed they were in love and she'd been happy. She didn't regret it and, truth be told, she would do it all over again. But, playing the 'what if' game wouldn't change a thing anyway. She didn't love him anymore. Horizon made sure of that.

And what was she going to do after she destroyed the Collectors? Shepard had the sinking suspicion that Chakwas' idea of her staying on a planet until the baby was at least a year old was going to be followed. Terror, the likes she hadn't felt since she was a teenager, engulfed her. She had never stayed on a planet for more than a week, unless a mission called for it, ever since Mindoir.

Shepard could remember the batarian attack clearly. She didn't have fuzzy recollections of her parents, her big brother and her baby sister. No, she had vivid recollections of their deaths. Space made the nightmares and memories go away, but being on a planet always brought them back. Like a warning of what might happen at any given time. Not even death changed her fears. Maybe she should've stayed dead…

Shepard closed her eyes. She hated to admit it, but she needed help. There were too many things happening and she knew she wasn't coping well. Maybe it was time to bite the bullet and talk to Kelly. She couldn't lead anyone against the Collectors and the Reapers in her state of mind. Shepard would look for someone else if she started spewing Cerberus' propaganda on her.

Damn, but she hated asking for help.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Chapter 13:**_

Shoot, take cover, reload, run. Shoot some more, take cover, reload and run again. Tell Zaeed to use his inferno grenades. Keep Jack using her biotics on the enemy. Order Garrus to stay back and snipe. Shoot, take cover, reload and run. Shepard rejoiced in the simplicity of the battlefield.

She thrived where others succumbed to the pressure of keeping their crew alive and completing the mission. Her doubts, worries and fears always disappeared under gunfire. All of her thoughts focused on the most primal instinct of human kind; survival. She was a natural at it and, somehow, her luck seemed to extend to her crew. Better to concentrate on living than remember how the Illusive Man had used her on the Collector Ship and how she was still playing his game by going to get the Reaper IFF. One day she was going to wipe the smug smile off his face and shove that cigar up his ass in retribution.

She smiled, savoring the weight of her battle rifle and the crumbling form of a scion. Husks ran towards her and she shot down most of them. They were faster than the first husks she encountered on Eden Prime before the whole ordeal with Saren began. For every husk she destroyed another two replaced it. The increasing numbers were worrying and she began to pull back. They were close. Too close. She used her rifle as a blunt object trying to find a way out of the sea of husks that suddenly enveloped her.

"A little help here, guys!" she cried, narrowly avoiding a husk when she moved to the left to beat another one to the ground. Her shields were going down fast.

"My shields are down!"

"Shepard!"

"Fucking, pussy," came Jack's voice through the radio, before the biotic shockwave was felt, scattering the husks around Shepard.

The Commander hurried away from the ones left. She could feel the bullets of her teammates zip past her and into the remaining husks. She felt the sting on her right cheek before she realized her shields were still down and a shot had grazed her. A minor wound and she was still alive to tell the tale. There was an explosion behind her and Zaeed's satisfied voice followed by Jack's blood-curling celebratory scream. They survived this attack.

"You okay, Shepard?" She could hear Garrus through the radio.

"Keep the lovey-dovey shit out of here, turian," Jack, said before she could answer and Zaeed laughed.

Shepard ignored the biotic and wiped the blood from her cheek before responding, "A little bruised, but I'll live, Garrus."

"Let's keep moving and get out of this place," she said, as Jack levitated the strange geth that had helped them and they took position around her.

"I remember saying I wouldn't carry it, Shepard. We can still drop the fucking tin can. We could've left this fucking joint a long time ago without it," Jack said, blue enveloping her as she walked, geth in tow.

"I'm curious, Jack. Don't you want to know what it was doing here or why it helped us?"

"Curiosity killed the cat, Shepard," Zaeed said beside her.

"But satisfaction brought it back," she replied, throwing the old merc a grin.

"Want to see how many lives Cerberus can scrounge out for you, kitty cat?" he asked Shepard gaining a cackle from Jack and an annoyed growl from Garrus.

She sighed, expecting the conflicting emotions her death brought to surface now that they weren't fighting, but they never came. She felt… well, she wasn't okay, but she wasn't questioning if she was better off dead. It seemed like her therapy was working after all.

"Come on, it'll be fun," she said to her team, "Just imagine Miranda's face when she sees it."

The old merc shook his head and Shepard swore the biotic began to move faster.

"And here I thought we were going to wrap it up and give it to Tali on her birthday,"Garrus finally joined the conversation.

"I knew I was forgetting something!" Shepard said feeling oddly happy.

After her emotional breakdown, she and Garrus had remained distanced. Kelly said it was better that way until she got better. That way she wouldn't do things she'd later regret. Shepard didn't know what things Kelly had in mind, but remembering the sudden attraction she felt that day made her think the Yeoman might be right.

Shepard chanced a look at her friend. Garrus was… He wasn't handsome. At least not to her. But he wasn't ugly either. She had to admit he moved with a sort of grace. Like a cat. She tried to rationalize it, reminding herself that it was probably the predator in him. That only served to remind her of the feel of his talons through her hair and a thrill coursed through her veins. Not lust, but the knowledge that he could be so gentle with her even when he could hurt her so easily.

There was a faint sting as a three fingered hand applied the cool medical jelly on the wound on her cheek. The sting receded along with any lingering pain as the medigel numbed the area and sealed it.

"I said I was fine, Garrus," she ground out, annoyed at the turian's actions. More husks could appear at any moment and they didn't carry an unlimited supply of the stuff to be wasting it on small injuries.

"We're almost at the end of this, Shepard. Besides, I asked if you needed healing and you didn't say anything. I took that as a yes," Garrus told her and Shepard could feel her cheeks burning at being caught spacing out in the middle of a dangerous mission.

The turian gave her an odd look, "Shepard, I…" he stopped to look at their companions, "Can we talk later?"

She felt her heart beating faster and she looked away from his blue eyes. Her hand settling on her armor-covered belly.

"Sure. I'll head down to the main battery after Chakwas has her way with me."

The turian frowned before going back to stare at their surroundings.

"Why don't I meet you in your cabin? I'll grab some food. We'll talk. I'll even let you fall asleep on me after we're done."

"Hey! What did I say about the mushy crap, turian?" Jack interrupted them; followed by Zaeed who gave Garrus a thumbs-up sign.

"You lucky bastard."

Shepard felt her face grow hot again and Garrus muttered something about dirty minds and humans. It was lost on the cries of the next wave of husks. Shoot, take cover, reload and run. Shepard grinned. Reapers aside, she loved this job.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14:**_

They needed time while the Reaper IFF was being installed. In fact, she already found something to pass the time thanks to Legion. For some strange reason, everyone she met seemed to have something for her to do. Legion didn't disappoint her. The geth not only wanted to join her, but it came with its own personal quest against the heretic geth.

Apparently, all this time she'd been killing heretics that separated from the geth to follow the Reapers. Sometimes she thought her life would make a good soap opera. At least she could understand why it was so easy to call her crazy. Either way, she was willing to help the geth destroy the heretics while the Reaper IFF was being installed.

Shepard rested against the wall of the elevator and sighed tiredly. She just hoped Garrus was still waiting for her.

It seemed everyone and their mother had something to tell her about Legion and her decision to activate it. Miranda and Jacob were very vocal about their displeasure. Mordin seemed puzzled, but fascinated about the prospect of studying a functional geth. Kelly voiced her concern over the way she 'made closure with her past'.

Shepard feared she didn't alleviate the Yeoman's concern with her assurance that there was nothing to worry about because she still hated batarians. Sometimes Shepard wondered if Garrus and Joker were the only ones that got her jokes.

Tali wasn't speaking to her. Shepard knew she was entitled to do that, given the history of the quarians with the geth. It still hurt. She vowed to speak with her friend before entering the Omega-4 Relay.

The doors to the elevator opened and Shepard stepped out and into her cabin. Her stomach growled loudly. Exhaustion began to creep in now that she was done with everything and she had to stifle a yawn. She paused to look at her fish. None were floating. Good. Feeling her mouth watering at the smell of food, and satisfied with her job at handling her pets, she turned around to join Garrus.

"Sorry about making you wait…" she began but stopped at the sight of her friend.

Garrus was slumped on her sofa. Eyes closed and deep in sleep. She found herself smiling as a soft rumbling sound reached her. Garrus snored, or she thought he did. With turians, who really knew? Either way, it was sort of cute.

His food was already eaten and she joined him on the far side of the couch. Garrus must've been exhausted because he didn't even twitch and Shepard knew he was usually a light sleeper.

Despite her body's urging, she ate slowly to keep her stomach from protesting. She'd gone too long without food today. Hopefully, Chakwas would never know and she'd be spared the lecture. While she ate, she studied her sleeping friend.

Kelly advised her to not force herself to name her feelings and just let them grow. Shepard thought the advice was lacking. It made sense, if one was like Kelly, but she needed to know what exactly she was allowing to grow. She couldn't handle unknowns. If she knew what she was dealing with, she could form a plan of attack. And Shepard knew she was good at attacking.

Friendship? No. He was already her best friend.

Trust? No. She trusted him with her life and viceversa.

Loyalty? No. She went against her morals to help him get revenge on his team and he joined her without a second thought despite her alliance with Cerberus and her mysterious return from the dead.

She felt something more. She wanted more. She wanted…

She wanted him to look at her like he did back on the Citadel and not feel afraid. She wanted him to keep using medigel because he couldn't see her bleeding, even thought she knew it was a waste of resources. She wanted to always find him near whenever she needed someone. And she wanted…

She wanted him to need her as much as she grew to need him.

She wanted him to want her.

Was it love? Hell if she knew! But it sounded a lot like love. And if it wasn't; could it become love? Probably. And if she dared… could they even be together like that? Did she even want to? Did he?

She knew there were some turian/human relationships around, but she never wondered about the mechanics of it. Surprisingly, she wanted to know. Could she blame the pregnancy hormones for that? Maybe. All she knew was that, if she wanted, she could be with anyone on this ship right now and all she wanted was to spend time with Garrus.

She smiled, at least she was clearer on what kind of relationship she wanted with Garrus. She didn't want to rush her feelings, but she also didn't want to go fight the Collectors without, at least, speaking to Garrus about it.

Her meal finished, Shepard decided to think some more later. She grabbed her favorite bathrobe and took a short shower. Despite the short amount of time under the spray of water, she felt more relaxed than ever. Sleep was tugging at her, but when she stepped out of the bathroom Garrus was awake. He was sitting on her sofa, mandibles twitching in embarrassment. Shepard felt her exhaustion leaving her and she was suddenly wide awake.

"Ah… Shepard, I'm sorry. I just…" he rose to leave and she quickly motioned him to stay sitting.

"It's okay, Garrus. It was my fault. I shouldn't have let you wait so long. Waking Legion right after we arrived was a mistake on my part."

"Legion?" he said, giving her a questioning look that slowly changed as comprehension settled in, "Let me guess, you woke the geth?"

Exhaustion returned to her as she settled beside him on the couch, "Don't. Please. I heard enough of it from Miranda, Jacob and Tali."

"Not nearly enough. What were you thinking?"

"That we're outnumbered and it wants to join us on our little field trip. We need all the firepower we can get, Garrus."

His mandibles flared and Shepard noticed that one had more mobility than the other. Sutpid mercs and their gunships.

"The more the merrier, right?" he intoned with a resigned look and she laughed.

"More along the lines of 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend',"

"Humans," he said with a snort.

She laughed again, her head falling on his shoulder like she'd grown used to. A contented sigh left her as Garrus' talons weaved through her hair.

"I wanted to thank you for helping me with Sidonis," he began talking and Shepard wondered if that was what he wanted to tell her.

"Whatever happens with the Collectors or the Reapers or whoever else comes after us, I know you'll get the job done no matter the circumstances," he continued.

"You actually think we'll find something worse than the Collectors or the Reapers?" she asked, slightly amused.

"I like to expect the worst. There's a small chance I'll be pleasantly surprised," he replied jokingly, and though she chuckled, she wondered when the idealistic C-Sec officer became so pessimistic.

Then she had to remind herself that she'd been dead for two years. People changed in less time than that. Didn't he know how important he was to her?

"I couldn't do this without you, Garrus."

"Sure you could. Not as stylishly, of course," he said and she wondered if he believed her. She was almost sure he didn't. She didn't have time to ask him as he changed the topic.

"You know, it's strange going into a suicide mission on a human ship. Your people don't prepare for high risk operations the way turians do."

Garrus' hand on her hair was making her fall asleep. She stopped him by grabbing it and keeping it in her grasp.

"I could remind you of our little search for Saren, but I won't. Instead, I'll bite. How do turian crews get ready for high-risk missions?"

He glanced at their joined hands before answering. Shepard swore his voice the flanging was more pronounced.

"With violence, usually. Turian ships have more operational discipline than your Alliance, but fewer personal restrictions. Our commanders run us tight, and they know we need to blow off steam. Turian ships have training rooms for exercise, combat sims, even full-contact sparring. Whatever lets people work off stress."

"You mean crewmen fight each other before a mission?" Shepard interrupted him, and if her voice didn't fully convey her disbelief, the look she gave him did.

Perhaps he'd been trying to make her see everything was safe and didn't endanger the mission. But Garrus began to tell his experience with a recon scout. It involved nine rounds of fighting ending in a tie and a 'tiebreaker' on their quarters to show off his reach and her flexibility. Shepard had never been jealous before, but she was sure the swirling emotion she felt at the end of it was that.

"It sounds like you're carrying some tension," she began without thinking, raising her head to take a good look at him, "Maybe I could help you get rid of that."

She could feel him tense beside her and she cursed her impulsive comment. That's what she gets for letting her emotions get the better of her. She wondered if this was what Kelly meant about doing something and then regretting it. She hoped not. Garrus was the most important person in her life.

"I, ah, didn't think you'd feel like sparring, Commander. I don't think it would be safe in your condition," he told her.

Shepard could back down now. She could say something else and keep everything as it is. Life was short. She knew that better than most. And she'd just been thinking if she should tell Garrus she wanted more from their relationship. Better to seize the moment than die at the Collectors base with regrets. If her life was to flash before her eyes, she wanted some good memories. And if he didn't want her, then what was one more regret to her list… She was already beside him. All she had to do was move a little and she'd be sitting on his lap.

She gave him a smile, hoping it didn't show how nervous she felt inside and moved. He was as still as a statue, but Shepard wouldn't back down now. Not without having tried something.

"If you want, we could skip the sparring and go right to the tiebreaker. We could test your reach…" she said, her hand settling on his chest and marveling at the alien hardness of it, "and what's left of my flexibility."

She didn't think turian eyes could grow wide, but Garrus' did.

"Oh! I didn't… Huh. Never knew you had a weakness for men with scars."

Humor. It was his shield. But she could feel him trembling under her palm. Was he repulsed? She'd been so stupid. Shepard felt the sting of tears, but she was too proud to allow them to fall in front of him. She shifted to move away from him when his hand covered the one she had on his chest. She could feel it shake even as it held her in place.

"Shepard, there's nobody in this galaxy I respect more than you," he spoke, for once serious. Shepard felt a chill run down her spine at his words.

"Only respect?"

He closed his eyes for a second, before staring into her eyes. God, she loved that shade of blue.

"I'm not…" he allowed her to move away from him and he stood. Shepard feared he would run away from her, but instead, the turian began to pace, "Look, Shepard, I know you can find something a little closer to home."

"True, but I don't want something closer to home," she said, standing up and stopping his pacing, "I want you. I want someone I can trust. And well, if you're not comfortable with this, you don't have to worry. I'm not trying to pressure you and, if you want, we can forget about this conversation."

She moved away from him, unable to stare at him. The emotions she thought she'd started to control were becoming too much again. She'd done it. She just fucked up the one friendship that meant everything to her. She missed the surprise in his eyes at her words.

"Shepard, you're about the only friend I've got left in this screwed-up galaxy. You don't have to worry about making me uncomfortable. Nervous, yes… but never uncomfortable," he said before he turned her around. Shepard watched him hesitate before he rested his forehead with hers and spoke.

" I'm not going to pretend I've got a fetish for humans and part of me thinks we're crazy for even considering… But I want to try it with you."

He withdrew from her and she felt like she missed something. Some hidden meaning behind that forehead touching, but she didn't care right now. Right now she was happy. She let him pull her against him as he settled back on the couch.

"Can we save the tiebreaker for later, Commander. There's… ah… research to do and your… huh… condition to take into consideration."

Shepard rolled her eyes, though she knew he was right. She could take things slow now that she knew Garrus was interested in her.

"Alright. Just, promise me you won't leave me. Even if this doesn't work. Promise me I won't lose you."

He placed his hand on her belly. The first time he'd done that on his own.

"I'll always be here if you need me, Shepard. You don't have to worry about that."

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A/N: familiar dialogue is not mine, but Bioware's


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** First of all thank you to all the people that reviewed or added this story to their list. This chapter is my second attempt at writing adult situations, so any mistakes in that part are mine and mine alone. Anyone not interested can just skip it and wait for the next chapter.

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_**Chapter 15:**_

One mission, a talk Mordin and one missing crew later; Garrus found himself sitting alone and staring at a bottle of wine in the crew quarters. He remembered it had been one of the human guys on his team, Butler, who got it. _'To drink it later with the guys,'_ were the last words Garrus ever heard from the him.

That same bottle was the one he'd been planning to drink before the mercs finally got him after running out of heat sinks the day Shepard saved him. It was the only thing he asked Shepard to bring back for him. To drink together after he avenged his team. Something they hadn't done yet as they'd been too busy preparing to fight the Collectors. It was sort of sad that after two years, all he had to show was a scarred face, a ruined armor and a bottle of wine.

Especially now that he was about to step into hell with no hope of going out alive. Just when life had started to make sense. It had been a while since he prayed to the spirits, but the spirit of the Normandy team was strong and had already performed a miracle or two. Surely it wouldn't deny him now.

The sound of the door made him look away from the bottle and acknowledge the person about to enter. Even when he knew who it was.

"Shepard. Need me for something?"

"EDI said you were moping," she said and took a sit beside him, her eyes flickering to the bottle of wine, "I know you're good, Garrus, but I don't think it's a good idea to test your marksmanship while drunk on this mission."

He flared his mandibles at her, though he looked away, "I wasn't going to drink it. I was just… thinking."

She reached over and took a taloned hand in hers. Her eyes studying their clasped hands as if wondering how exactly could they fit together. Garrus had wondered the same thing and studying those diagrams Mordin sent had helped a little, though he couldn't bring himself to watch the vids. There was something about watching that sort of thing while knowing an AI was watching that actually unnerved him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

The silence between them stretched as he briefly gave in to his desire and pictured a life together as a family. A dream that clashed with the reality that he had never dealt with human children and he had nothing to offer her as a mate. No house, money or clan. His father would rather disown him than accept a spectre into the family, let alone a human. Garrus doubted fighting for her clan rights because she was his mate would work either. The Relay 314 Incident was still a sore topic for both humans and turians. He didn't deserve her. He knew he didn't. But he didn't want to let her go either. Not now when he knew she saw him as a potential mate. He loved her and wanted to try. That should count for something…

Garrus sighed tiredly before bowing his head, "I just… I've seen so many things go wrong, Shepard. My work at C-Sec, what happened with Sidonis… I want something to go right. Just once. Just…"

He looked away from her, hands leaving hers and curling into a fist at his side. Mandibles close to his mouth. She got up then and he was sure she'd leave him to his dark thoughts, when she sat on his lap.

"Calm down, Garrus," she began, a hand coming to rest on his scarred side, "You're worrying too much."

Garrus was taken aback when Shepard touched his forehead with hers. He could feel his heart beating faster, even when his mind was telling him she couldn't know what that action meant for his people.

"Tell me if I'm doing something wrong," she said and he could feel her soft fingers ghosting over his mandibles and reaching to the back of his neck.

Right under his carapace he could feel her blunt fingernails as she dragged them up to his fringe. He closed his eyes to the warm, pleasurable feeling. Her hands were small, strange and looked so fragile compared to his own. But their fragility was an illusion as she gripped his fringe with surprising strength. Making him shudder as he felt his plates shifting.

She moved closer to him. Her mouth breathing on his neck, her body molding to his. Garrus opened his eyes to burn in his memory the moment his hands gripped her waist. He could feel the beginning roundness of her pregnancy, but instead of repulse him, like he feared it would, it made a rush of possessiveness course through him.

"Seems like I'm doing something right," she whispered against his ear, and it was then he noticed he'd been growling like an overeager teenager.

He licked her neck experimentally, daring to nip her lightly when she exposed more of her throat to him with a breathy moan. Her deft hands were busy undoing his shirt and he had to move his hands upwards and under her shirt before he gripped her waist too hard and injured her with his talons.

"Soft," he murmured and she chuckled.

"I've been using the things Mordin sent to my quarters. The lotions smell wonderful and they keep my skin soft."

The smile she threw his way told him two things. One, she didn't smile enough. And two, if she smiled to anyone else like she just did to him, he'd have to shoot them between their eyes. He nipped her again and shifted, delighting in her gasp as she felt his erection.

"Always prepared, right?" he whispered into her ear.

This time it was him that moaned when her hands gripped his waist.

"A girl can hope," she replied and Garrus almost lost all coherency when she bit his neck and raked her nails on his waist. It was the faint smell of blood that allowed him to retain his senses.

The three red lines on her collarbone were all he needed to see to move away from her. The sudden movement, almost made her fall to the ground if she hadn't been faster.

"Garrus?" she asked and he flinched at the hurt he could hear in her voice, but he couldn't stop looking at the blood on his talons.

"I…," he closed his eyes in defeat, "This was a mistake."

"If you're saying that because I got scratched, I swear to God, Vakarian. I'm kicking your ass."

The anger in her voice made him growl his response to her, "I can do worse than that, Shepard."

"I'm not a doll, Garrus. I never was and all those upgrades Cerberus paid for should be good for something," she said with a tentative smile, while approaching him again.

Her voice was hard, but her touch as she finished with his shirt and got in contact with his plated chest was soft and careful. He almost didn't feel her caresses, but her fingers kept getting between his plates and _that_ he could feel very well. His plates shifted and the arousal, gone when he first realized he hurt her, slowly returned under her ministrations. A rumble soon broke through his chest and she smiled again.

"Tell me you're uncomfortable. Tell me you find me disgusting. Tell me you don't want me. You don't want this. Us. And I'll leave you alone. But don't leave me because I'm fragile, Garrus. After all I've been through, that's just insulting."

His rumble broke into a roar and she gasped as he picked her up and placed her on the cot. His talons making short work of her shirt. The actions might've looked savage, but he was too careful for her to think he lost control.

His hand lightly traced her naked chest and she shivered in pleasure. Taking the hint, he touched her again with more force and was rewarded with a loud moan and a hand gripping his fringe. Her touch, the sound of her pleasure and her scent had him hard and ready, but instead of diving into her like a man starved, he licked the colored nub on her breast, earning another moan from her and he repeated his actions.

"Fuck, Garrus, it's too much," she said between gasps and tugged him away.

"Too much?" he asked with a smug look, though the waver in his voice had her reaching to touch his forehead with hers again.

"Sorry. That was a little too intense. I was told they'd get more sensitive, but I wasn't expecting them to be quite that sensitive," she said and finished with a bite.

He drew back from her, alien blue fixed on her body as he drew his hands downwards. Everything about her should disgust him. She was soft, malleable and pink. Instead, he found that he liked the feeling of softness against his plates. His hand stopped on the small bulge bellow her stomach. Another alien feature. His eyes were drawn to her face and she smiled at him before getting rid of the rest of her clothes.

Her scent was overpowering and he moved to nibble her neck as he positioned himself between her legs. She bucked forward and he groaned, jaw closing around her neck to keep her in place.

"Garrus," she groaned his name, her hands trying to undo his pants and give him the freedom he was aching to feel. He couldn't stop himself from thrusting against her when she wrapped her legs around his sensitive waist. But he grabbed her hands and pulled them above her head. He kept them there with one hand and gave her a warning growl as his jaws closed slightly. The action made her whimper and Garrus let go of her neck long enough to whisper in her ear.

"Not this time, Shepard," and with his free hand, he untangled her legs from his waist and began to touch her clit while silently thanking Mordin and his diagrams.

His touch made her cry his name loudly and struggle to get her hands free. He kept her trashing to a minimum with warning growls against her neck. Garrus was fascinated with the slick lubrication he'd read about, but couldn't really picture until he felt it coating his fingers.

He wanted to taste it. He wanted to push his fingers inside and make her cry his name. He wanted to thrust deep inside her and mark her as his for everyone to see. But he hadn't been prepared and he feared the baby would suffer even with all the precautions she'd taken. If Shepard still wanted him after this, then he'll do all that and more.

He increased the pace of his fingers as she arched her back and groaned. The turian watched as her skin seemed flushed ad she bucked against his hand. The need to mark her was strong as he watched her reach her orgasm and he bit into her shoulder.

She screamed his name, her legs wrapping around his waist again and gripping him hard. He groaned loudly closing his eyes and for a few moment everything was alright in the world.

When he opened his eyes, she was staring at him with an odd look on her face. There was a bad taste in his mouth and Shepard's shoulder had a perfect imprint of his teeth. When she noticed he was watching her, instead of being mad because he hurt her, she just smiled at him and pressed her lips to his bloodied ones.

"Shepard…"

She placed a hand over his mouth, "Tell me after we beat the Collectors."

He nodded, feeling his mouth go strangely numb and his throat itchy.

"I think I'm allergic to your blood"

"I'll get Mordin."


	16. Chapter 16

_**Chapter 16:**_

She was trying to keep Garrus from falling down the ledge. She could feel him slowly slipping away and she gritted her teeth. She couldn't lose him. Not now. Another hand grabbed the turian and she felt a wave of relief as Zaeed helped her get Garrus to safety. She didn't have time to thank the old merc. It appeared as if destroying the human Reaper had compromised the structure they were standing on. One minute she'd been struggling to keep her emotions in check before she started crying over almost losing Garrus or over Zaeed's selfless act and the next she was falling, eyes staring at the stars and the falling debris.

The impact sent waves of pain along her spine and left her breathless, but she couldn't stop now. She could feel the blood trickling from various small cuts from the debris that fell on her and the agonizing sting of a particle burn on her right leg as she struggled to get up and breathe at the same time.

"Everybody okay?" she asked, the pain becoming a dull throb as the suit pumped stims into her bloodstream.

Her mind kept screaming at her that she was pregnant and shouldn't be using stims, let alone falling down or getting this amount of injuries, but she pushed the thought to the back of her mind. Someone had to fight the Reapers. If not her then who? The answer was no one, or else the Illusive Man wouldn't have a reason to bring her back.

"Got your boytoy, Shepard!" Zaeed said over the radio and she chanced a glance behind her to see the turian free from the beam that had fallen on him and already with his assault rifle in hand.

"Switch to incendiaries!" she ordered and Zaeed gave a triumphant shout as he used his inferno grenades to keep the incoming swarm at bay.

They ran away as fast as they could before the swarm got over their fear of fire or the Collectors found them. They were close to the exit. She could actually see the Normandy. She could also see Joker trying to buy them more time as the Collectors finally caught up with them. There was the sound of her shields going down and the disturbingly familiar feeling of a bullet entering her shoulder. The force of the impact almost threw her face down to the ground, but she caught herself on time. There was the sound of someone ahead of her shooting and Garrus voice came through the radio assuring her that he was still watching her six.

"Scoped one!"

She saw Zaeed jumping. The pain on her shoulder was ebbing away as more stims flowed through her veins. Garrus jumped. She was so close she could almost taste it. And all the stims in the world couldn't help her when there was a tearing feeling before she was being punched from the inside out. She fell down, hand going to her abdomen. Something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong…

"Shepard!" Garrus screamed at her and she tried to force the pain to the back of her mind.

She told herself it was like being back on Mindoir. Only the voice that told her to get up and run was the one that mattered. There was this fluttery feeling in her stomach before another wave of pain went through her. She felt tears come to her eyes. She'd been so fucking close…

"Dammit, Shepard! Get up!" The turian screamed at her again through the radio and she concentrated on his voice. The pain and desperation she could hear coming from him fueling her to get back on her feet just in time to watch the ledge crumbling down.

"No!" he screamed in her ear and that was the last thing she heard, before the memories took over.

Waking up. Realizing she'd been dead and two years had gone away. Finding Tali the first time only to think she lost her before she joined her again. She should've spent more time with her friend. Meeting Mordin. Hearing him sing that silly song of his. She should've tried to convince him to create a cure for the genophage at least. Escaping Purgatory with Jack. Helping the biotic confront her past and trying to teach her that not everyone is out to get her. She should've tried harder. Waking up Grunt and helping the krogan find a purpose and becoming his Battlemaster. She would never know if there'd be little Grunts running around from his breeding requests. Meeting Thane and helping the assassin reunite with his son. She'd never know if the two would ever manage to become a family. She'd never know if that cure she talked Mording into developing worked. Or if Kasumi would ever find the secret her lover was killed for and destroy the memories that kept her chain to the past…

So many memories in just a few months. And so many regrets to add to the regrets she carried over from her past life. But none of these memories were as cherished as the ones with Garrus. Finding him when she thought she'd never see him again. Waiting with baited breath to hear he pulled through and didn't leave her. Happines when he joined her with no questions asked. Anger and sorrow for the two years she wasn't able to help him. Eating with him. Feeling his talons through her hair. Realizing he was more than a friend. Feeling his touch on her skin. Knowing she'd never feel something like that again. She should've told him how important he was to her. How much she needed him. How much she felt for him. The memories of their time together weren't enough. She wanted more. And what she wanted, she always got.

She still had Reapers to defeat, a Council to say 'I told you so', a Cerberus leader to destroy among other things. But most important of all, she was not going to leave Garrus alone again. She refused to die without telling him she was pretty sure she loved him, but if she didn't love him already she was close to it.

Her vision tunneled.

'Run,' the voices of her dead family urged her on.

'Jump' Ashley's voice came to her.

The knowledge that her target was out of reach didn't come until the sickening feeling of her already injured shoulder being dislocated almost knocked her unconscious. Shepard felt hands on her as she was dragged into the ship. She felt arms enveloping her.

"I got you. I got you," someone was saying over and over again like a reassuring mantra. There was the smell of blood and sweat and something distinctly metallic.

"Garrus?" she whispered trying to focus and get her bearing, before doubling over in pain.

"Get Chakwas!" was the last thing she heard before blackness took over her at last.

When Shepard came to, she found herself hooked up to various machines. The smell of medigel permeated the air. For a second she panicked, remembering waking up on an unfamiliar station with mechs trying to kill her. She almost bolted upright, when she caught sight of Garrus sleeping on a cot beside her.

"He wouldn't leave. Even threatened bodily harm if we tried to get him out," Chakwas said as she continued to work on her desk, "I found it endearing, Commander, but annoying to work with."

"Did I..." she tried to ask, the memory of that last battle and their escape from the Collector base coming to her.

A trembling hand settled over her abdomen and she almost sighed in relief as she felt the bulge. Tears threatened to spill as she looked at the doctor; needing to hear her confirmation that everything was alright. That she hadn't lost her baby.

"It was close," Chakwas said, approaching her and daring to take her hand, "You're not invincible, Commander. We learned that the hard way two years ago. You're both not out of the woods yet, Commander."

"It was bad, wasn't it?" Shepard said, looking at the doctor.

Chakwas sighed, "I won't bore you with the details. Suffice is to know that you two were bad enough to warrant five more days in my company and then you'll be confined to bed rest for at least two more weeks."

Shepard made a face, "Does it have to be that long? The Normandy needs to be repaired and I need to ask Mordin if we have enough data to meet with the Council and convince them the Reapers are coming. Plus I need to send my resignation letter to the Illusive Man."

The older woman let out a tired sigh, "You're not going anywhere until I am sure you're not going to go into premature labor again, Commander. You and the baby took a bad hit, Shepard. If my scans are correct, he's a tad smaller than he should be at this moment and I'm hoping it's not the amount of stims you've been using during this mission and just stress. Let Miranda work on repairing the Normandy while you get better, Commander. Please."

"Did you say he?"

Chakwas smiled and squeezed her hand again, "It's a boy."

Shepard's vision went blurry and her gut clenched. She'd done what was right, but at what price?

"I guess you're stuck with me, doctor."

"I'll ask Joker to get your cards so we can play," Chakwas said as she walked away towards the turian, "Let me first wake up prince charming so he can see you're fine. I'd appreciate it if you convince him to get some food for us later. That way he'd at least be useful."

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_A/N: Again, thanks to the people that reviewed or placed this on your list. I think there's at least one or two more chapters until this story is over._


	17. Chapter 17

_**Chapter 17:**_

She felt like a giant volus as she stepped out of the elevator of the Presidium. Garrus, Jack and Grunt behind her.

"You _do_ remember me and cops don't mix well, right?" Jack commented as she glared to the C-Sec officers that dared to glance at her.

"We just stopped here to drop Garrus off. We can't leave the Council waiting for long," Shepard told the biotic with a smirk on her face.

Garrus mandibles clicked nervously. He knew that smirk. He'd always seen it whenever she had something planned. Her eagerness to speak with the Council only confirmed his worry. At least her temper had gone back to before she'd died.

"Relax, big guy. Your dad can't be that bad."

"It's not that, Shepard., and you know it. Promise me you won't blow…" Garrus stopped suddenly as his eyes focused past their group to the old turian walking their way. Garrus swallowed nervously and ducked his head.

"He's here, Shepard," was all he said to her questioning stare. Before anyone could do something, he turned to Jack and Grunt.

"Chakwas said she shouldn't be walking around much. And don't let her get too excited either. It makes the baby excited too and you know what that means," the two squad members rolled their eyes, Jack with an accompanying sardonic smile, but he ignored it in favor of adding, "Oh, and no more salarian tea for her."

"I'm right here, you know," Shepard said with a frown though she tried to get a good luck at Garrus' father.

This would be their first meeting in years and the turian assured her he wanted to do this alone. If it went well, he promised to take her home to meet his family. The turian had stopped to talk with a C-Sec officer and she could only glimpse his side, but he didn't look like the old, grumpy turian she'd picture in her mind. He reminded her of Pallin, stern looking but not bad if you get to know him. She hoped her observation was correct and that Garrus had just exaggerated.

He stood in front her, gaining her attention back, and her protest died in her throat as he bent down and brushed his forehead against hers. His hand resting on her belly at the right moment to feel the baby kick. Chakwas and Mordin said it was a coincidence, but Shepard was beginning to believe the baby knew it was Garrus. Which was cute, when he didn't aim at her ribs.

"I know you're here. I also know you won't listen to a word I say," Garrus whispered and Shepard didn't know if she should get mad at him or laugh. She settled for being amused until she craved more tea.

Garrus was still touching her forehead with his. Shepard had already guessed that was a big thing for turians, but hadn't asked him. The turians around them gasped and stared incredously, but she didn't care. To her it seemed like his version of a kiss and right now it was definitely marking her to anyone looking, including his father. She smiled when she heard Jack make gagging noises and Grunt's huff of annoyance at their display, before withdrawing.

"Let's go, people. The faster I'm done with this, the faster I'll let you go to Rodam's," she said to the biotic and the krogan.

The two tagged along behind her like puppies at the promise of more weapons. She glanced back at him and he flared his mandibles at her, watching silently as she walked away from him. He knew when his father stood behind him, but he couldn't look at the turian. Not yet.

"Father."

There was silence, but Garrus was used to his silence. Even if he didn't like it.

"A human?" was all his father said and Garrus could hear the disappointment in his voice; the repulsion.

Their relationship had been strained for years. When he quit C-Sec to search for Saren, his father had called him once to reproach him. That had been the last time they talk to each other until today. Garrus wouldn't have bothered talking to him again for the rest of his life if it weren't for his mother, sisters and brothers.

It had been almost a year and a half since he last talked to his mother and close to two since he last spoke to any of his siblings. He missed them and for them he would talk to his father. He mentally prayed to the Spirits that this meeting wasn't his last. He prayed that his mother didn't turn his back to him like his father. He prayed that she accepted his choice of a mate, even when he knew she wouldn't understand it.

The silence between them stretched again, but that was normal between them. Garrus turned to stare at his father.

"Not any human, father. Commander Shepard."

"The human spectre that supposedly died?" he asked, the word 'spectre' coming out with enough venom to make it clear he hated that even more than the human part.

"Be careful how you talk about my mate, father," Garrus said. It had been years since he dared to look at the older turian in the eyes and he'd never growled, but that was just what he did. And for the first time in his life, Garrus saw his father take a step back.

It was then Garrus realized how old his father actually was. With just that one step back, the impenetrable and legendary C-Sec detective disappeared. Leaving behind an old father that never managed to understand his own son. Garrus wasn't blind to not see the disappointment, but he'd been kicked down enough times to finally see it wasn't just aimed at him like he always believed. His father was also disappointed at himself for reasons Garrus could only guess, but didn't dare to.

The silence was uncomfortable. It always was between them and Garrus was beginning to think this was all a bad idea. He should've just written to his mother. His father sighed, a long tired sigh that spoke of defeat. Ironic how much he disliked humans when that action was picked up from humans. Without a word, because words always hurt between them, his father gestured him to follow.

"Better get going before your mother starts worrying," the older turian began hesitantly as if afraid he'd say something wrong, "She's been cooking all day for your visit. You look like you need the food. We all know how hard it is to find edible food outside of Palaven or the colonies."

Small talk. It felt weird, but if his father wanted to try it, Garrus would try too.

"True. Our cook, Gardner, he's human. He tries to make food, but I'd rather eat nutrient paste like a quarian than eat what he makes. Hell, the crew of the Normandy, except Shepard and Grunt, prefer to eat nutrient paste too. "

His father chuckled. Now that was a surprise. He hadn't done that since he was a little hatchling. Perhaps there was hope for them.

"Quarians," he said while still chuckling, "That immune system of theirs always crack me up."

Garrus flared his mandibles, holding his own laugh as he wondered where was Tali and her shotgun when he needed her.

"Have I ever told you about Tali, father?"


	18. Chapter 18

_**Chapter 18:**_

They stared at her and she stared back at them with her arms crossed. Now she felt like a giant, waddling, fat, two-headed volus. Damn you Wilson and Cerberus. By the time her pregnancy is over her self-esteem would be shredded beyond repair. She sighed, holding the urge to whip he pistol out and demand they stop staring at her. Plus now she wanted tea. Salarian tea, which she couldn't have because it was too sweet. Perhaps she should try that tea from Kahje Thane talked about after her meeting was over. If they ever stopped staring at her...

"I see Kaidan wasn't lying," Anderson said as he was the first one to recuperate from the shock of seeing her seven month pregnancy in all its glory.

"Did he also tell you about the Collectors?" she asked, trying to get attention on the reason she was here and not her body.

"He did on his report," the man said and she absentmindedly rubbed her belly when the baby kicked her.

"Fuck, why don't you all take a picture. It'll last longer," Jack piped up from behind her. Her words seemed to do the trick as the remaining three councilors finally stopped looking at her and looked at each other.

"It seems like congratulations are in order,spectre," the asari councilor said with a polite smile on her lips.

"Only congratulations?" she asked with a smirk and the councilors seemed confused.

"My team and I destroyed the Collectors, saved the remaining human colonies, jumped through the Omega-4 Relay and came back alive and thwarted the Reaper's plans to destroy all life in the galaxy – again - and all we get is your congratulations? I knew I shouldn't have told Cerberus to fuck off."

The turian councilor grinned while the other two councilors looked at each other in resignation. Funny how much she learned about reading alien body language with her crew.

"Collectors, Reapers, jumping through the Omega-4 Relay… Have you heard yourself? Clearly this woman has lost her mind. She is clearly not fit to be a Spectre," the turian councilor all but purred as he spoke and Shepard could see the other two councilors almost reluctantly nod at him.

"Thought you'd say that," Shepard said, ignoring Jack's cursing, Grunt's animalistic roar and both Anderson's and Udina's protestations. Her words silenced them all and she handed Anderson a datapad.

"What's this?" Anderson asked, looking at the datapad with curiosity.

"That is all the information I've gathered on the Reapers. Several scans made of the Collectors, the Collectors' base and a derelict Reaper that crashed into the core of Mnemosyne. I included the schematics of our Reaper IFF, which allowed us to enter the Omega-4 relay and some information regarding Cerberus."

The silence was deafening. Shepard gave the turian councilor the most satisfied smile she could give him while he remained speechless. She smiled at him, enjoying the moment, vaguely wondering if the turian disliked all humans or if it was just her.

"We will see this information and take necessary precautions, Spectre. The Council thanks you," the asari councilor broke the silence in what was an obvious dismissal, but Shepard had another thing planned.

"I forgot to mention that I sent this information to the major governments of the galaxy. They should be getting it right about now," she added quickly, trusting Liara to have used her contacts to make this possible. After all, the asari was funding her mission to destroy the Reapers after she quit Cerberus.

The uproar was unanimous. Shepard smiled, feeling her two companions almost vibrate with the hope of a battle breaking out. The asai councilor silenced everyone with a wave of her hand and Shepard wondered if that mind controlling thing that guy on Illium said had any truth. They obviously wore the pants on the Council.

"Why would you do such a thing?" the asari councilor asked almost losing her composure.

"The Reapers are coming. I don't have time to wait around until you decide to open your eyes and face the truth. And maybe it's a side effect of being forced to work with the Illusive Man after you left me no choice, but I learned to cover all my bases before I get screwed."

"This is an outrage! Commander, do you know what could happen?"

"People will either laugh at me and call me crazy like they do already or they will start preparing for the Reapers. Either way, I've done my part until the Reapers try something else."

The Councilors looked at each other before the asari spoke to her. She seemed to have regained her composure, but Shepard had been around enough asari to notice the veiled tension. At least she had something new to tell Garrus and Tali. This was the first time she'd pissed off the entire Council, including Anderson. The last one made her cringe, but she didn't regret her actions. It was high time the rest of the galaxy did something besides relaying on her. She was only one person and, honestly, she was getting tired.

"Despite your rash actions, spectre, we still thank you for your service. We will retire to analyze the information you have given us. But, let me make this clear, Shepard, if this data is useless we will rescind your spectre status and the fallout will rest on your shoulders, not this Council. Resting on this data is also the re-evaluation of our decision to give a Council seat to humanity."

Udina's cry of outrage took over the room. He didn't think as he walked up to Shepard, hand raised and pointing at her. But whatever he was going to say died in his throat as both Jack and Grunt took a step forward. The first one glowing a faint blue and the last one with a manic grin on his face. That was enough to silence him.

Shepard wanted to tell them where exactly they could shove their spectre status, but refrained. The baby kicked her hard on the ribs and she took a deep breath.

"If that is all, I'd better get going."

"Shepard. I need to talk with you," Anderson said and she sighed, knowing she most probably just disappointed her only father figure after Mindoir but unwilling to run away from her actions.

She stared at the man's eyes with her head held high and smiled, "I could go for some tea."

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_A/N: Thanks to all the reviews and faves. Sorry for taking long in updating this story, but life had other plans. I'm also sorry for lying to you when I said only two more chapters. There is one more chapter already written and pending editing and an epilogue. Thanks again!_


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Mass Effect.

**A/N: **Sorry for the delay. Some real life stuff, like moving to a place without Internet, happened. Thanks to all the reviews, faves and alerts. There's still an epilogue coming, just changing some stuff to it. Again, sorry for the delay and thanks for giving this story a chance.

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_**Chapter 19:**_

Bailey wondered what caused the alien crew of the Normandy to camp in front of his desk. They arrived at least two hours earlier and so far hadn't made a move to leave. Occasionally, the quarian would use her omnitool, but nothing more. And on top of that, he hadn't seen Shepard at all. When the quarian opened her omnitool for the hundredth time; Bailey finally had enough.

"Okay, I've had enough of you loitering. Either you tell me what's happening or you start walking," he said, trying to read the alien faces with growing worry over their commander. She'd been pregnant last time he saw her around and many would see that as the perfect time to strike her down. Spectres always had enemies after them. Shepard more than the normal amount. A shame, really, he liked the woman. She was... one of a kind…

"The Commander is having her baby," the rather well-endowed asari spoke while keeping her eye on the krogan bouncing on the corner, "It has made the crew… nervous."

Bailey glared again at the krogan, who looked close to punching the turian C-Sec officer nearby. His eyes moved to the drell standing still in the next corner in what appeared to be a prayer, then to the quarian cursing softly while working again on her omnitool, to the pacing turian right in front of his desk before settling back on the calm asari.

"Guess I'll have to buy the kid something," he said and the Justicar smiled at his words while Bailey resigned himself to having them all on his office.

With one last glance at the Krogan, he thought maybe having them there was not such a bad idea after all. The last thing he needed was a jittery group of... soldiers? ...mercs? ...men willing to work with a spectre walking around his ward. With a tired sigh, the officer went back to work, grateful that at least they were silent.

"Oh, Keelah! It's done!" the quariang exclaimed another hour and a half later.

Bailey looked away from his terminal and watched as all the aliens rushed towards the quarian. He almost worried she might get trampled. The noise in his office suddenly worse than that time the Dark Star strippers rioted after a volus couldn't take no for an answer.

"Everyone calm down before I lock you up for disturbance of the peace," he said though the smile told them he wasn't being serious. Still, they obeyed and he managed to ask, "So, quarian, what was it?"

"It's a boy. Oh, Keelah, I've never seen a human baby before," the quarian looked flustered even through her suit.

"Congratulations, Garrus," the drell said, "Becoming a father is one of my fondest memories. Enjoy your lifetime together and I'll pray to the gods you don't make the same mistakes I did."

The C-Sec officers stopped to look at the turian. Bailey had heard the rumors and seen that special Al-Jilani made a few weeks ago, but actually hearing it was ten times better.

"You're the father?" Haron asked and Bailey had to wonder what exactly was going through the turian's head, "But that's impossible!"

Garrus sighed, though Bailey had been around enough turians to notice the heated glare he sent Haron.

"Her previous mate lost all rights when he abandoned them. She's my mate now," Garrus said, mandibles flaring, as if daring the other turian to challenge him.

Bailey knew Haron long enough to know he was going to say something back. But right when Bailey was wondering if Haron had a death wish, the doors opened and Jack strode in.

"What are you shitheads doing here? I thought you'd be partying or something," she said before strolling past them.

"Wait, Jack, did you see it?" Tali asked and the bald woman stopped.

"Hell, yea! The little bastard's ugly as hell, but Chakwas said that's normal. Lively one, though. Just the way Cerberus likes them, I think," she said before leaving.

There was a minute of complete silence before Bailey watched the aliens stampede out of the room and to the ship. He couldn't help but laugh at their antics, until he noticed the asari was still there.

"You're not joining your friends?"

She gave him a small smile, "Later. I find myself with a problem, Captain."

"Anything I can help you with?"

"Perhaps," she said as she approached him, "You see, this moment is one I thought I'd never see. My daughters cannot give me grandchildren and I grew… resigned to that fate. You said something about buying a gift. Is that customary for human births?"

Bailey looked at the clock. His shift was almost over and he could always leave Sanix in charge. With one more look at the asari, he messaged the turian and crossed the distance between them. He offered his arm to the asari.

"I know the perfect baby store to find the boy a gift."

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A/N2: Hope you liked it. There's still an epilogue left and we're done! Tell me what you think. Concrit is always welcomed.


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